I've talked to quite a few parents of kids on the autism spectrum since getting Alex's diagnosis. I've often heard something along the lines of "I can't believe I didn't catch it sooner," a thought that I've tortured myself with as well. I find it really fascinating to hear about parents' observations of their children as infants. I have an 8-month-old daughter and when I compare her behavior to her brother's as a baby, it is totally different. For example, Amelia is very interested in the people nearby to her while Alex as a baby was more concerned with the objects in the room; the clocks, the ceiling fans, etc. Alex was my first baby, and I had nothing to compare his behavior to. I didn't instinctively know that he "should" be more interested in people. Further, though without anything scientific backing me up, I would say that I'm sure there are babies out there who weren't enthusiastic about people but ended up developing normally as they grew. There is such a variation in people and personalities that it's so difficult to know what is "normal." That is part of the reason that autism can't really be diagnosed until 18 months of age.
After talking to many parents, I find myself thirsting for more information; more anecdotal stories. Within the autism community, there is debate over whether kids are born with the disorder, or whether it develops during their infancy. I've read that some cases of autism seem to be present at birth, but so far, I've only spoken with parents who noticed that something was "off" after the age of 18 months. But many of them report that, while their child, for all intents and purposes, was developing normally (i.e. meeting milestones at approximately the right time,) they were particularly difficult as babies. I've read of babies who went on to be diagnosed with autism being particularly easy, but I haven't yet met any parents who reported that. I've also talked to parents who have multiple children having one baby who was particularly difficult, but went on to develop normally.
I'm very curious to hear stories from more parents of kids on the autism spectrum, and also those with "neurotypical" children. It's weighing so heavily on me that I think I need to resolve by writing a book. I'd like to interview dozens and dozens of parents who have children on the spectrum, and also some parents who have typically developing children.
I'm looking forward to this!
